Parties are often preceded by fun questions, like what to give? Who to bring (if you have a plus one, that is)? When to arrive? And, crucially, what to wear? Most of us don’t just happen to have a floor-length silk gown or a tailcoat hanging around in our closet, waiting for the day our Met Gala invite finally arrives. But would that even be the right kind of thing to wear to such an event? We’ve got answers, and options, for every possible occasion on your social calendar.
Social obligations are not prerequisites for feeling great about your appearance. You can dress up simply because looking good makes you happy. But more often than not, the situations where we put a lot of care into our outfits are big events with explicit dress codes. The best-case scenario is that we’re dressing for both reasons: because it boosts our self-esteem and because we want to look situationally appropriate.
Still, knowing what is appropriate can be a head-scratcher. The dress code might be implied, and even when it’s made explicit, the jargon can be difficult to decode. Which is why we spelled it out for you here.
Jeans and a T-shirt: When the most casual of outfits is perfectly acceptable, you might as well go with it.
Khakis, modest shorts, day dresses and skirts
Anything cotton or linen: In the summertime especially, it’s more pleasant to wear breathable fabrics, and these can easily be dressed up or down.
Basically, you want to dress like any of the characters on your favorite sitcom routinely do: in comfortable clothing that is neither ostentatious nor schlubby.
Graphic T’s: Plain T-shirts are great, but ones with inflammatory words or images might be better left at home. The Emily Post Institute, whose mission is to educate people about etiquette, advises against shirts that bear slogans altogether.
Anything clearly ripped or stained: It’s a matter of self-respect more than anything, but it also shows respect for your host and fellow guests when you dress in clean clothes. Intentional distressing on denim is fine.
Uncomfortable clothing: This is always a don’t, but there’s no reason to dress outside your comfort zone when the dress code is casual. The idea is to come as you are.
Where Casual is Appropriate
Dress: A shirt dress or a sweater dress can appear refined and relaxed at once.
Blouse or button-down shirt: You can’t go wrong with a crisp, classic top. Add a blazer to dress the look up a notch or two.
Dark denim: Unfaded indigo or black jeans can make an outfit feel instantly more evening-appropriate.
“Going-out top”: These shirts – often constructed from synthetic materials and sometimes bought cheaply from fast-fashion stores – are meant to make a casual look a little more club-ready. Ultimately, a going-out top is anything that makes you feel good.
Jumpsuit: It’s a stylish one-piece alternative to the dress that can be scaled for elegance. Boiler suits in particular are very trendy this year.
Sneakers: unless they are very clean and not the type you would wear to the gym
Shorts: just don't.
Where Dressy Casual is Appropriate
If business casual: khakis or dark dress pants; a button-down shirt; sport coat or blazer; tie optional.
If business formal: dark suit, dress shirt and dress shoes; silk tie; sheath dress; pencil skirt. Think Kerry Washington on “Scandal,” or any of the esteemed actors on USA Network’s “Suits.”
Sneakers, not even nice ones: They will make you stand out in a bad way.
Jeans: Business attire is not the same as tech company work attire.
Clothing that distracts. Our fashion critic Vanessa Friedman says that “clothes should not be the focus of attention,” which means “they should not be what colleagues or friends remember after a meeting.”
Anything that makes you wonder, “Is this a bad idea?” If you’re thinking it before you leave the house, your thoughts will only get louder throughout the day.
When Business Attire is Appropriate
Dress: You’ll want to wear a dress that is made of a refined fabric (like silk, lace or taffeta) and cuts around the knee. It should be much more formal than a sundress, but less formal than a ballgown. Most department stores and online retailers have sections devoted to party dresses, and any of those should do.
Suit: Most people wear dark suits to occasions with this dress code, but if the event is a daytime party, a light suit (beige, gray) is totally fine.
Dressy separates: If you wear a very snazzy top (think sequins or silk), you can probably get away with dress pants (say, velvet) or a skirt on the bottom.
Jumpsuit: Everyone wears dresses. Why not do wear something that makes a statement?
Dress shoes, pumps
When in doubt, wear black.
Anything too short or tight (unless you love being physically uncomfortable for hours at an event).
Jeans: This is definitely not the time or place for America’s favorite pant.
Plain cotton anything.
When Cocktail/Semi Formal is Appropriate
Dress: Long gown or a very elegant cocktail dress: This can be elevated with jewelry and other accessories.
Tuxedo
Pumps or strappy sandals
Black wingtips or oxfords
Remember how the characters on “Gossip Girl” dressed for special occasions? That’s the bar here.
It’s not a strict rule, but most people advise against bright colors for practical reasons: They’re harder to rewear and more difficult to clean.
Scuffed shoes: Even if they are dress shoes, you want them to be in tip-top condition.
When Black Tie is Appropriate
Floor-length gown
Tailcoat jacket
Jewels
Long white gloves: optional, and sort of extra, but isn’t that the point?
Looking like royalty is the ideal outcome.
An above-the-knee dress
Suit: Your business attire is dapper, but it’s not welcome here!
When White Tie is Appropriate
Dressing up, even once in a while, can easily become expensive. Anyone who is familiar with the marathon of weddings that begins in one’s 20s and never really ends knows that dressing up can feel like an expensive chore. You can’t really help it that you’re popular or that your friends are in love, but preparing for these celebrations and gatherings doesn’t have to break the bank.
Speaking of which, clothing – especially dressy clothing – should not simply be worn. It often requires alterations or D.I.Y. hacks to look as good as possible. And, crucially, garments should be cared for, especially when they are costly or beloved. Here are some things to consider:
Sometimes a dress code can feel rote – more like a uniform than an expression of personal style. This is especially true if you’ve built up a wardrobe of rewearable pieces and they’ve each made appearances at several occasions. Here are a few ways to make sure your outfit comes together and feels fresh: